Disney Villains Varnish: Nail Polish Collection

I first read about these gorgeous little meta bottles of joy on another blog, and I was instantly lusting. The funky shaped bottles, the Disney theme, the artistically- styled villains; I mean, seriously, what’s not to love? Just check out these ladies! Look at their dresses! Their hair! Their total fabulousness!

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I was gutted, however, that they were seemingly impossible to get hold of unless you were American. So just imagine my delight when I came across them in the Disney store! I cannot tell you how fast I scooped up a box and squirreled it home, anxious to try them out.

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Flawless presentation to be sure. Bravo Disney, bravo. Anyway, let’s get stuck in.

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Cruella De Vil: A rather striking, but generic, shade of bright red.

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Went on nicely, and was very bright, but…it’s just red. There are sooo many reds. Perfectly serviceable, but just…ordinary. I think a red with black and white spots would have been awesome, a  proper Dalmatians polish, but what do I know.

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 Evil Queen: Black, with fine red glitter particles.

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I was sooo disappointed with this one. This looked so gorgeous in the bottle that I had it pegged as a winner, but then for some reason it went matte when I put it on. Taking away the gloss of the Evil Queen is utterly unforgivable if you ask me, and ruined any chance this polish had of being fabulous.

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 Maleficent: A shimmery turquoise blue/green.

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This one confused the hell out of me. Admittedly it’s been a while since I’ve seen the film, but doesn’t this colour seem totally off? I thought a purple would be better suited, surely? Is she really blue?! I think this would have been better suited to Ursula, frankly, but again, what do I know. Nice colour, but another that could have been in any collection.

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 Mother Gothel: A rich maroon/brown.

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I actually quite liked this one. It’s very rich, and a gorgeous, deep shade. But…it’s brown! Brown! I think it’s a testament to my disappointment with this collection that a plain brown polish ended up being on the high end of the spectrum.

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Queen of Hearts: A bright yellowy gold with shimmer particles.

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A nice, warm gold, and I really liked the tiny shimmers, but I think, given the extreme nature of the Queen herself, that it’s just too subtle. It should have been GOLD gold. Like, nails wrapped in foil gold. And the lack of hearts is frankly ridiculous.

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Ursula: A pale pearlescent pink/lilac with silver shimmer particles.

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Meh. Pretty. Pale. Nothingness. This is a perfectly nice polish, but it feels like it belongs in the Disney Princess collection. This is URSULA. This is the woman with the deep throaty voice and kinky black tentacles, the woman who uses dead animals for lipstick and boomed ‘BODY LANGUAGE!’ in such an overtly sexual way that my pre-teen self didn’t know how to handle it. She is the ultimate of sexy, womanly villains, and to pass her off with this flimsy pale pink is pretty unforgivable.

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In case you can’t tell, I was disappointed. The idea was fab, but it felt badly done, like they had randomly assigned colours to anyone.  I felt like they really could have done some amazing things if they had put some thought into it! Every time I painted in a colour, I was imagining what could have been, how much better I could have done it.

Given the awesome potential that this idea had, I feel even more disappointed by how it turned out. I don’t think it’s just Disney, to be fair; I’ve seen a ton of TV and Film tie ins that just didn’t live up to their potential. I feel like someone should definitely give me the job of creating these products; there’s no way I would let a Cruella De Vil polish out of the door without black and white spots, and don’t even get me STARTED on the Queen of Hearts…

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